A Recent E-mail I Thought You'd Like to Read :)

Hi Friends,

This is a recent reply to my Mother and Aunt in response to a recurrent issue of mine: the need to feel proud of what I get up to. I was looking into interesting-looking Master's programs at OISE, specifically in Adult Education and Counselling Psychology, and when asked what I had learned from my latest search, I responded with this:

"I didn't discover much because I don't want to divert much energy away from my personal training at the moment. Ever since I got certified I've always been looking over the horizon for something "better" or "more than" without giving the training and what I could learn from it a proper shot. I've started giving it that shot, and I'm realizing it really isn't that bad. I actually quite like it, and as such, am going to keep rolling with it for now. I've often looked to more education in the past as nothing more than a source of feeling legitimate or worthy of respect from self and others, something that really was all in my own head, but I don't think those are the best reasons to look elsewhere when you've got something worthwhile and meaningful right in front of your nose. Of course, I will keep my options open and be aware of additional opportunities around me. As Aunt Debbie and I hashed out the other day, there are still legitimate reasons to feel and think the way I do about training, but to buy into those beliefs and give them energy really is just another choice. I will look more into the program, for it does genuinely interest me and seem worthwhile and useful. For now I'm just saying that I'm beginning to unravel a lot about my preconceived notions and beliefs which, I feel, are greatly limiting me. It's terrific and so liberating!!! I'm making so much more sense now of what happened with naturopathy and Jenny and other major events that have shaped me, and I'm seeing how I was at the center of all of them, not God or UniVerse or something other than "me", but little, old me. That was one key puzzle piece I was missing before in my endless quest to shirk responsibility for making some big choices I wasn't ready to make, and it is very empowering now to see that I, and we, really can and WILL have whatever we want, for that's how the UniVerse works. It seems to respond most strongly to the powerful emotions which are most intertwined to the things, people, and places we want, and the stronger the emotions, the faster and more of what we are connecting to we get, for better and worse. I'm seeing now more clearly than ever that whatever we focus on grows stronger and bigger, and that which we starve of energy and attention shrinks and can, should we choose, eventually disappear. IT'S AMAZING!!!! We really are responsible for all that happens to us. Wow. Pretty big, isn't it?

So from all of this I have seen that God does not want us to do this or that, but simply wants to support us in whateverr we think will lead to joy, self-esteem, happiness, growth, etc. If God can be said to be Pure Love, and I believe it is, then we only suffer when WE want to, not when it wants us to, for the sake of growth or learning something or attaining what we want to attain. Ha, ha, ha!!! I'm really quite ecstatic because these major things I have been wrestling with for so long are starting to come into clarity and my relentless quest for Truth is really paying off!!! :))) Amazing...simply amazing...HA!!!

(deep breath in, out, and...go)

Well, that is what has dawned on me today, thanks in part to my new friend Michael, in addition to the fact that some things must be for us in certain ways, for that's what they refer to about going with the flow, or going with the Tao. However, maybe God did not create those things for us, either. Maybe they are the result of living past lives and being shaped from previous existences, maybe even dimensions, which would re-route back to my original thesis statement that God simply wants to support whatever we choose. WHOA!! That's a biggie, too!!! I'm feeling that it's bang on accurate, as well.

Some doors we can knock on and they simply will not open, while others seem to open effortlessly. However, as I'm writing these words to you and listening to my intuition, perhaps that is simply another choice - to have things come easily, or to go the hard way. YES!!! It ABSOLUTELY is!!! Of course, it's a choice!!! For God can never interfere with our own Free Will. All He/She/It wants is to experience himself/herself/itself through us, and nothing more :)

Wow. This really is blowing my mind!!! I mean, JEEZ!!! My whole paradigm is changing and being flipped on it's head, and I'm LOVING it!! I thought for the longest time that what happened with school and with Jenny happened to punish me. I felt like I had done something wrong, and as such I needed those experiences to kick me in the ass, but I'm seeing now that that really wasn't the case. I needed to go through those things because I WANTED to, and nothing more. I chose to take them on, chose to have them verified by many external sources, and chose to hang onto them for as long as I did. But I see now that that was all my creation, and God/UniVerse really doesn't care how I chose to express myself. However, I think expressing oneself in ways that bring joy, happiness, compassion, and contentment must be in His agenda somewhere, lol... ;)

In retrospect, some of this doesn't actually seem so earth-shattering, but I guess it's just because it's coming to me at this time when I am really open to it that it seems so big, deep, and hard-hitting. Yes, that's what it is. I've read about these sorts of things for years, but only now, at this exact time in my journey/development, am I needing them, attracting them, and feel really hungry for them. Life, once again, is all about timing, lol...

Whew...well I'm good and tired after all of that sharing. Thanks for tuning in to the "Andrew Network - Canada's Premier Source for Wholistic Growth and Development". Hmmm, I like the sound of that..."


Love, Light, and Illumination,


Andrew ~*~

What are you waiting for?

Hello Friends,

Something powerful, deep, and inspirational happened to me this evening that I wanted to share with you. While getting lost in the carefully crafted collage of friends and family adorning my parent's fridge, I slowly began realizing that not every person in every picture is still alive. From there my mind turned to the fact that some of those who were once young and vital are young and vital no more, and as such are not able to do all that they once could. This is a classic human realization which can have far-reaching implications, as it is somewhat of a shock to the ego, that someday, unavoidably, we will all get old, get sick, and die. Some of us, it pains me to say, will not even make it that long, and our lives will end by accident or some other similar circumstance. When you really tune into that, when you confront it head on and dip into the truth of it, it's powerful!

Now, as with any powerful realization, I chose consciously how to respond instead of being led blindly by internal white noise or emotion or any of the other factors that can sometimes lead us astray. I, instead, decided to use this realization to propel me forward, and I hope you are going to do the same :)

How exactly did I do this? Easy :)

If it is true that the nature of life is change and that the only guarantee we have is that we are all going to die someday, then WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?!?! With the magnitude of that reality, why let fear hold you back from bringing to life all of your heart's desires?!?! Why end up regretting something when in reality even if you were rejected it wouldn't have been that bad anyway?!?

This is a useful question I implore every so often in order to help get back on track or straighten out my priorities: If I were to die tomorrow, what would I have wanted to do more of at this point in my life? When you answer that question, your answers are exactly what you need to be doing more of, because time is running out. I don't mean to be negative or cynical in any way, just realistic about this ride we are on, this sacred journey, this crazy highway, whatever you wish to call it. Someday it will end, and you will be out of chances to do the things you loved so much.

So...if you feel stagnant at all, if you feel bored or like your life is on "repeat", remember my words and really feel the truth they carry so that you may wake up from your stupor, take some risks, and start living your life in a bigger, happier, and fresher way!!! Anything is possible, and there is no tragedy in trying something and failing. Only in never bothering to try at all :)

As of late I have started writing a Gratitude Journal, and each night I record 3 things I am grateful for and what I did to facilitate each one, and you know what? 90% of all that I am grateful for is the direct result of me taking risks!!! Either I stuck my neck out for something or someone or I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to try something new, and, in those cases, anyway, I was successful and ended up landing something that now I deeply appreciate at. How cool is that?!? In addition, the more risks we take, within reason, of course (I'm not talking about trying to improve our jumping-from-highrise-to-highrise abilities), the less we feel the sting of rejection! It's really quite amazing, for it is easy to think of taking risks in terms of winning or losing, but even when we "lose" we win because we, if we choose to be wise, anyway, learn something valuable in the process!! IT'S AWESOME!!!

So that's all for now. I hope this has inspired you in some way, and if not, well, you must be a few steps ahead of me, and that's "Tony the Tiger" terrific! :)

Good luck and have fun,

Andrew